Bekka, if I lived near Montrerrey, I would walk with you every day. Monterrey is one of my favorite places!

I've lived in my new digs for 8 months now.  Work & church has helped alot with getting to know people, but I recently celebrated my 50th b'day and by golly, there weren't a whole lot of girlfriends to celebrate with.  My daughter, bless her heart, pulled together a total of two people... our PTA president and the other teacher - I outrank both by at least 20 years.  Wow.  I mean, I love my family... but where was the girls' night out?  My challenge is finding women MY age to hang out with, shop, eat, talk... so, I shall try this Social Jane once more.  I emailed a few people (early on in S/J's existence) and got one response that never seemed to want to follow through with actually meeting.  I am not discouraged, just skeptical.  SO.. Miss New-to-Town.... what I've done to find all those "basics" is hop on the local transit and ride.  Or walk through town... you see alot more when you're on your feet.  But I am still missing that female companionship that doesn't involve conversations about diapers and school stuff.

My husband is a wonderful man.... we meet 9 years ago.. I moved from North Carolina to Texas to be with him... we married.. a year later.. we moved to Berlin, Germany...We are now back in the United States...living in North Carolina... I never thought adapting back to the U.S. would be so hard !!   Especially ..when moving to a very small town...There is not a day goes by that I miss our life in Germany...How are you doing now??   Have you been able to see if  there is a newcomers club in your area ???

First off...I am not all sure about the book mentioned in an earlier reply. That's so sad. BUT - here together, WE can become conquers to that books ending and help one another make friends and maybe coach each other too! :) My membership here has been a while now and I've emailed lots of ladies too and got one reply...We met at a local coffee shop and hit it off! Hope to enhance this social circle (lack of) of mine and do my part in replying to others.

sorry.article 1: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-how-do-grown-women-make-friends/ />article 2 http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-how-to-make-friends-and-keep-them-post-college/

I saw this post and it reminded me of an article I read on thefrisky.com - i thought i'd post both the original article link and the follow up... i found it really interesting, and loaded with good ideas. (dog park worked for me AND my dogs!!) http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-how-do-grown-women-make-friends/http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-how-to-make-friends-and-keep-them-post-college/

Hi Bliss,
I loved your post and am so happy for you and your new friends ! I am hoping that that I will experience the same happy ending to my story. Thank you so much for sharing such positive results.

After reading the last post, I feel I have to provide the "other side".  I joined SocialJane about 3 months ago, and emailed half a dozen women.  Every single one responded!  I met up with the first new contact/friend shortly thereafter for lunch! We hugged upon meeting, had a great lunch, and walked together, finishing with coffee and chocolate strawberries.  Shortly thereafter, I met the second one! She was also great and we had a lovely time.  Then I recd an invitation from a new gal and we met for lunch.  She was entirely different from the first two, but just as great.  We discovered that she had also contacted the gal with whom I had lunch.  Long story semi-short, we all met up for dinner and a movie and had such a good time! Two of our little group of four have already taken a trip to Florida together for a week in the sun!  We all email each other, have had more lunches together, and are planning a little trip together.  I am a full time realtor, 60 years old, married with grandchildren.  We are all of similar ages, all have grandchildren, husbands who like to have us out and happy and occupied, and are quite diverse in our work and appearance.  But one thing we all share, and I think that is what makes this site so special, we are open to true friendship, we want to give as well as get, and we have all lived long enough to know that if you are open to others and are vulnerable, they will probably feel similarly with you.  We are all so happy to have met here as "beta" members and can't encourage all you "newbies" enough.  Reach out!

I know where you're coming from, ladies.  Been doing a lot of reading lately, mostly in the relationship and sociology field; and the common consensus among the experts is that humans (in the industrialized world at any rate) are experiencing a real friendship crisis, mainly due to the fact that people don't live their whole lives in the places where they grew up any more.  Seems that the latest research has found that most people lose the ability and/or desire to make friends  (real friends, not just acquaintances) after about the age of 8.  So if you haven't learned the knack of making friends quickly by the age of 8, or you've had to move after the age of 8, you're basically screwed.  I guess they've found that there's just something in the human emotional make-up that is not very open to accepting new friends after the age of about 8.  I'm thinking they're right:  if you think about it, the age of 8 is about when kids start forming the cliques in school, etc.  Also, sociologists have found that the very definition of friendship (true, honest, friendship that'll hold up to arguments, etc.) is that it is something that takes years and years to grow.  So basically, if you're much past your teens and don't have friends like you'd like to, you're a member of a large club (I'm a member too) and you'd probably better get used to it; it's not going to get better.  In fact, in a book I read recently called THE FRIENDSHIP CRISIS, the nearly very last paragraph in the book said something along the lines of "if you're an adult reading this book who's planning on having kids and you want them to be good at making friends, you'd better start paying attention nearly the day you bring them home from the hospital, because if they haven't learned by the age of 8, they're not going to.  And if you're an adult reading this book who'd like to make more friends (or get better at making friends yourself) and you're thinking you can do it by taking classes, joining groups or clubs, etc.; by all means go ahead, it won't hurt you, if nothing else, it'll at least get you out of the house a night or 2 a week.  But don't expect a whole lot from it either; you most likely won't make any true friends that way."  Basically, the older you get, the harder and harder it is to make true friends because there just isn't that much time left any more.  Too bad, isn't it?

I just joined a few days ago and I sat right down and wrote to 5 ladies on this site who live near me and not one of them wrote back to me.( Insert sad face here) It is my 'mission' at present  to make new friends and this seems like a wonderful way to make that happen. I guess we all need to keep at it and remain positive, I wish you all lived near me!