The loss of a valued friend is a harsh reality—it hurts! When the ties of a connected and valuable friendship are severed, even temporarily, the results can be devastating. Emotional anguish between friends can spring from hurtful actions or circumstances.
Articles on Friendship from SocialJane.com
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Maggie was my closest number one girlfriend in life. We’d shared everything that mattered, every day, for what felt like forever. And then, like a bad dream in slow motion, she quietly began her exit from my life, without ever uttering a single word about it to me. It retrospect, it was the perfect recipe of avoidance, unreturned phone calls, weekly plans suddenly cancelled, e-mails silently ignored.
I believe the saying, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans” has been credited to the soulful artist John Lennon. Most of us would interpret that wisdom to mean that though we design grand plans, checklists, and blue prints for life all with the intent to create the life we think we want, that which is the other finds us. We imagine, we dream, we plan, we schedule and then we begin to check off the boxes that contain our lives, but in the end isn’t it the interruptions that define it?
Let’s face it: dating is tough, and will challenge even the most confident woman. Who hasn’t felt ill at ease on a date with a man you hardly know, or felt too intimidated to strike up a conversation with that hottie at your gym? And you’ve probably tried different ways to meet men, from the perils of dating at the office to the adventures of dating online. These methods can work, but as you know, they have obvious downsides.
Franklin D. Roosevelt is quoted as saying: “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” And I have found that when facing challenges in our lives, it’s nice to know that you have true friends who will not only throw you the rope, but help you tie the knot.
In constructing Twisted, I heard from over 3,000 women, ages 18-86, read thousands of pages of research and related material, and drew on the wisdom of psychologists, sociologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, gender studies specialists, and even some icons of popular culture. My goal? To increase awareness about the profound influence we females often have on one another (for better but sometimes, sadly, for worse) and about the hidden, lingering hurts and struggles that result from our inhumanity. I’ve hoped to prompt reflection, trigger new dialogues, and maybe, just maybe, inspire a little social change. Gratifying work. But in 2011 I’ll be shifting gears slightly and taking my own advice by focusing on the more positive aspects of all this—celebrating and nurturing my wonderful girlfriendships and renewing efforts to reach out and make some more.
Although in theory, if not in practice, when we're ready to give up our unhealthy friendships, deciphering the friend worth ditching and the friend worth keeping remains an issue. It's worth exploring at the start of a new year and a new decade, when we feel wise, informed, and fortified, the reasons why we are willing to keep certain friends and do a clean sweep of a few others.
While people haven’t “forgotten” your husband, it is much easier for everyone else to “move on” with their lives than it is for you. The fact is that others are not going to be affected by the loss of your husband in the same profound way as you are, for one obvious reason—they aren't the widow. Absolutely no one is going feel this loss in the same way you do. Furthermore, it is a general fact of life that people are uncomfortable with the topic of loss, and simply don’t know what to say to you. (When people forgot that the words, “I’m so sorry.” are truly sufficient, I do not know.)
Often women ask, “What would I do without my friends?” If we have first-class friends, they help us laugh; allow us to grieve and cry; listen to us when we are happy or upset; and share ideas about relationships, work, life. Indeed, healthy friendships may be one of the best things that can happen to us. Such relationships are joyful, fun, powerful, almost miraculous.
Being that we are a “friendship site,” we at SocialJane.com always appreciate hearing expert opinion on friendship, and women’s friendships in particular. So we rounded up a host of questions based on common experiences of SocialJane.com members, and took them to an expert in the field of human behavior, Dr. Karen Dill.
Ah, the empty nest mom! She is the ultimate picture of contradiction. For years she pushed, she prodded, she worked around the clock to mold and shape her little darlings into real people . . . people of whom she could be proud. Then, just about the time she had them looking, acting and smelling like adults . . . they flew the coop!
Showing 1-11 of 11 articles