Women Friendship: It’s Our Purpose
By Janis Kupferer
Women & Friendship
For women, friendship is a big deal. In fact, for women, friendship is actually a really big deal.
A friendship, one that is long lasting and true, can very well be one of the most important relationships a woman has during her life. Yes, we have spouses and parents and children and siblings. But husbands are not always forever; and parents, unfortunately, leave us; children are not our friends; and siblings are terrific—sometimes.
It is only with our most trusted friends that we share our hopes and fears, joys and sorrows, compliments and complaints (and perhaps also any secrets we may learn about wrinkle prevention).
A look at the research on women friendship and its emotional and health benefits reveals that study after study documents the extreme boost we women get from our female friendships. Women friendship decreases stress by releasing oxytocin and lowering blood pressure, improves—significantly—our overall happiness by staving off depression and dementia, and even stretches our longevity by astronomical leaps.
Women: Friendship vs. Men: Friendship
And yet for all the seeming delight our friendships bring to us, for some reason we women have the darndest time keeping these relationships peaceful. Just when we think we’ve found a great friend, here comes the bickering and wounding and competing and harming of each other.
Some time ago, in my younger, less mature years, while visiting the home of great friends of mine, the husband Mike, exasperated with our discussion (aka gossip) about another supposed friend blurted, “Listen you women, friendship shouldn’t be trivialized and subjected to the drama and cattiness that you all create. Although men don’t have nearly the number of friendships that women have, we certainly seem to respect our friendships more.” (Ouch. At that moment, he was so incredibly right!)
To men and women, friendship seems to mean such different things, and to have such different rules and requirements. To men, friendship means having a buddy with whom to play ball—whether that ball be a basket-, golf-, or a foosball; to watch a sports event—any sporting event, doesn’t matter in the least what the sport is; and to shoot the breeze with while enjoying an adult beverage. For women, friendship is supposed to be about having someone with whom you share similar interests, so you can do activities together that you both enjoy. It also means having someone who shares beliefs similar to your own, so that you can discuss issues or concerns and get an answer that coincides with your value system. And finally, for women, friendship means having someone whom you just like to be around. A friend who makes you laugh, or makes you think, or hopefully makes you laugh while you are expanding your mind.
For men, the rules of friendship aren’t all that complicated. Just be interested or interesting and we can be friends. For women, friendship has so many rules, some spoken and some silent. In the best situation, a women friendship is about being fun and interesting, as well as kind and supportive, and loyal and constant. Women need a solid foundation, and it is their relationships that provide that haven. A sense of community, a sense of belonging, a sense of being needed and wanted—a sense of being special, valued and indispensable and most importantly, a sense of emotional safety.
Women & Friendship: It is Our Only Goal
We describe SocialJane.com as a women friendship site, and a women friendship networking site, and even just a women’s social networking site—but regardless of the name and description, our goal is the same … to make the process of finding new female friendships quick and easy, and safe and secure, and convenient and comfortable.
SocialJane.com is the largest women friendship site and we’ve made it to this point because we provide a real solution to a very real need. Women need friendships, period. But we don’t always know where to find them or how to acquire them. SocialJane.com and the internet take chance and proximity out of the equation and provide the tools that help us find others who are like “us.”
The internet helps us to find spouses, new cars, long-lost classmates—you name it—and the internet is able to help put you in touch with your goal. The same is now true for women friendships, thanks to SocialJane.com.